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| I would like to mention that, if you have not wondered at an unanswerable question, marveled at some intricacy of the universe, found amusement in the subtle ironies of a situation, or simply stared at the sky and wondered how many other people are doing the same at that moment, that you might be moving too quickly too often.
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| So what is it exactly that keeps me from being happy? It doesn't seem like there's some outside force blocking my way. I seem to have enough free time and energy to accomplish what I need to do (or what I think I need to do). Yet somehow, I'm unwilling to find the motivation to get certain tasks done that would otherwise free up my day. It's like I don't know how to function without that one task looming over my head for the rest of the day, or I'm afraid of being happy because I wouldn't know what I'd do with myself.
I've heard being happy was something you learn to do, but I've never really given it much thought before.
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| Geez, what a month. Ups, downs, pain and growth, uncertainty and fear abounding. Yet somehow I've come out miraculously unharmed, if still a little out of it. The lecture part of my massage training is done; no more tests, just an internship at the same school. I've managed to cook several different dishes to keep myself fed, including one of my favorites from growing up: Bagahli Polo (basmahti rice with dill and lima beans). I've manage to deal somewhat successfully with a couple people who made me uncomfortable, and I am now much more clear of my boundries and how to tell them to other people.
With people, there is no good-bye. We continue to echo in each other's memories, perhaps unknowingly. Or we'll meet by accident, or through degrees of separation, or according to some, after we die. With people, there are no goodbyes.
So I'm in CS atm, trying to meet up with people and do some catching up back here; then I will hopefully be able to explore austin more fully despite trying to get a part time job at some coffee house. Yes, I've always wanted to work at one for a while. Don't ask me why, it'll fit into my life somehow, eventually.
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| It's wednesday already? Ungh. Reviewing anatomy was the most boring class yet, I wish we started covering new stuff instead. And to "international talk like a pirate day:" you can go back the the dark, watery grave from which ye came. Arr. | | |
| And so it happened: I finally got comfortable enough to be bored. No raid tonight, no huge amount of reading to do. Restlessly getting up periodically to walk around my room and then realize there's nothing additional to do here. Time for people time, imo. Music helps and can speed the time, but in the end I feel like there's more can i do with this time. Maybe I can read for fun, but I still feel that's missing the point.
Today was a good day in class, the regurgitation of anatomy came easily. Bony landmarks fit together easier with muscles attached to them; visual, audio, tactile, word significance clues... together they make connections easier.
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